Why I like to walk at night instead of morning....

This post doesn't come with a picture.

And how glad you should be! Trust me, you don't want to see what "Bob"got me for my birthday. Yes it was a couple days late, and in all fairness, "Bob" was in Maryland for my Birthday, and he didn't forget, he just didn't know what to get me. This is Bob number one. Don't get him confused with Bob numbers two and three.

And Nathan called me and left a happy birthday message, but I didn't discover it until yesterday. And Corky boy called me today, and Donelly and Haley sang Happy Birthday to you over the phone. Ok, I'm happy. All better.

No Nirvana for me.

But DeRees is well on his way! What I mean is that when he tells everyone not to get him anything or make a fuss over him on his birthday, he really means it. Or at least he puts on a pretty good show. . The trouble is that somehow he thinks just because he doesn't want anything, then I shouldn't want anything too. Second year in a row. Oh well. Charlotte and Darell and my mom remembered me, and Aaron too. Thanks!!

Free Babysitter

Well not exactly free. First you have to purchase the giant toilet. Then it will entertain for hours on end, at absolutely no cost to you. You could even pack them a lunch!

Nature or Nurture?

One thing that Charlotte and I have in common is a lack of enthusiasm for the fine art of scrapbooking. It must be genetic. Today I received a homemade scrapbooking-style thank you card from her in the mail. She purposely tried to make an ugly card just to make me laugh, but her artistic talent and distinct style still shows through. She just slapped together some leftover scraps but it is still amazingly cute! And she called it tacky. This is what mine would look like, if I ever attempted one:

At the risk of boring you...

I am so proud of my hydrangea. I bought it last year when it was little (the size you give your mom on Mother's Day when you're cheap) and now look at it! I think it loves me. Not all of my plants love me.

I've finally found some good help!

I picked this guy up off the corner of San Fernando Rd and 15th Street. He's the best gardener and pool man I've ever had. He works like a dog! (Do dogs work?) I pay him plenty, but he still won't buy himself some decent jeans without holes in the knees.

I think I'm getting a crush on him.

May 30th=Charlotte's Birthday

Happy Birthday Charlotte! I don't suppose the fifty bucks we sent you can buy you a new set of female organs. Or a surfboard. Or a camera. It wouldn't even cover the cost of your hair curlers. But we sure love you a lot and hope your day is full of love and happiness!

Happy Birthday to Mom and Jamie

May is a big Birthday month in the Outhier/Clark family.

Darell, Mom, Tiffany, Corky, Matthew, Jamie, and Charlotte.

Happy 35th Birthday Corky Boy!

What really made him happiest when he was two years old was a little plastic motorcycle. He use to carry them around all day and make motorcycle sounds with his mouth. I think they came six to a package for 59 cents. Now he likes iPods and home theater technology stuff.

More fantasy world

Since Christmas is only 7 short months away, I'm giving all of my children notice of what I want them to give me. Divide the cost four ways = about 6 thousand a piece. Dad says he will even chip in a few bucks to help out.

More fun with DeRees

This photo is from a water-skiing trip we took a couple years ago. To impress our friends, DeRees came out of the out-house wearing this long toilet paper tail. Do you recognize him from the back?

Now, a true and loving grandpa will play dressup with his little grandaughter. Don't you think they look just like identical twins in this picture? You will have to look very closely in order to tell them apart. (Hint--Donelly is on the left).

For our ward Christmas Party, we were supposed to dress up like we were going to Bethlehem to be taxed along with Joseph and Mary. And of course, DeRees had to add just a little twist. He looked more like an Oil Sheik, so, he's been known as "Omar" in the ward ever since. Such a silly guy, that DeRees!

Infinity and Beyond!

Here are three of my beautiful, perfect little grandchildren. Isn't it wonderful how a child can put on a costume and be carried away into a care-free fantasy world and totally become their heart's dream!

This reminds me of my husband, DeRees. DeRees tricked me into marrying him. He lied. We met at a church dance, and I told him I loved to dance and he said he loved to dance too. So I said to myself, "Dolores, this is the man for you, you better snatch him up quick before some other lucky girl does." So I did. But the day after we got back from our honeymoon he confessed to me that he hated to dance. Can you imagine??

So now I bet you're wondering what in the world does this have to do with costumes and fantasy worlds. I'll tell you.

Well, for the last 36 years, I have begged, pleaded and even used peer pressure to try to get him to dance with me at weddings, but he has refused. But alas! Last month, at a friend's son's wedding, I finally got him to dance by letting him put on his Billy-Bob teeth. I HATE those Billy-Bob teeth!! But suddenly he was dancing like he was John Travolta and Michael Jackson all rolled up in one. I kid you not, everyone backed up and formed a circle around him and laughed and clapped their hands. I thought I was on a movie set. So where did all his inhibitions go? Here's my theory. With the Billy-Bobs in place, he didn't have to be DeRees Carl Clark II, CPA anymore. He was Bozo. Is my theory right or wrong? Whatever. Problem solved.

Another definition of "Baby Hungry"

The mother of this baby says she feeds him about 20 times a day because he is hungry. He is only 3 months old and weighs in at a whopping 41 lbs. I think he is adorable, but I sure wouldn't want to burp him.

I made this one from the left-over scraps

I like this one better than the planned-out one before it, and it took a fraction of the time. I wonder if I can pass it off as a baby quilt? Hmmmm...

I'm a lousy quilter. So am I still a real woman?

If that doesn't shock you, here's another confession: I have never scrap-booked, and have absolutely no interest in trying it.

Actually, the truth is that I am a bit envious of women who can make beautiful quilts. I have decided after attempting to make my fourth quilt that quilting is a hobby for perfectionists who have the patience of Job. I like to sew, but I don't like to measure anything. I want to lay down a pattern and cut on the solid lines and sew on the dotted lines. I don't like anything more complicated than Insert tab A into slot A. In making a quilt, one has to measure, cut, and sew with no room for error--like within a billionth of an inch. Otherwise, it will be all askew and not lay flat. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm lazy and take shortcuts. I just hope that it will sort of accidentally turn out. When a friend of mine saw my first quilt, she said, Wow! I've never seen a 3-D quilt before!

Anyway, I just finished my fourth (it took 3 years), and it almost lays flat! Hey, I'm improving!

But there IS a picture of the puppy!

It's toward the bottom of my blog page. I tried to move it above or below the proper post, but it wouldn't budge. I need another tutorial.

It was supposed to be a joke (look at the picture), but it sort of backfired. Oh well.

Designer Puppy? Or......?

If Charlotte wants a dog, well then I want a dog too! Here is a picture of the dog that I want my kids to buy me for Mother's Day. Does anyone know what breed it is, or where to buy one?

Watch out for solid oak spiral staircases

Lately, I've taken to wearing a broad-rimmed hat whenever I go to work out in the yard in an attempt to prevent any more brown spots from invading my face. Yesterday I came in to get something, but didn't bother to take off my hat because I was going right back out. Now, this hat does a marvelous job of blocking the sun rays, but unfortunately it also blocks about 75% of my vision. So I was involved in a head-on collision with the staircase (emphasis on "head"), and I guess you could say it was totally my fault, seeing how the staircase was permanently parked --as it has been for the last 25years-- near the hallway entrance. I just walked into it, and I hit it so hard it actually knocked me to the floor. DeRees, the sweet husband that he is, came up with this brilliant idea to make sure I was protected from any more accidents.

Charlotte is my official blogsite tutor

She tried to teach how to put music and surveys on my blog page by communicating through chat, but I got frustrated and gave up and went and made some buttered popcorn instead. She is very patient, but I am not. It's like she's the mom, and I'm the tantrum throwing brat. Anyway, I promised her I would add a post tonight, and here it is!!

I can't wait til she and Brett move in with us. We'll have so much fun! I'm even cleaning out cupboards and closets to make space for their belongings. It's easy--I am just throwing out all of DeRees's stuff.

Today is February 14th

Today is a special day. It is Valentines Day. It is the day when I can pretty much demand anything I want from my husband, and I know I can get it. Because he loves me. I like him to buy me things and I love having this power. But he really doesn't want me to buy him anything, because there's nothing in the world he wants except money. And if I buy him something, well it's really his money I am spending. And if I give him money I would be just giving him his own money. Such a character! But he does like me to give stuff that doesn't cost money. You know, like homemade brownies and such.

I wonder what Brigham Young did on Valentines Day. I wonder if he got 40 batches of homemade brownies. If he was smart he found an excuse to leave town.

Ode to DeRees

The man that I love drives a rental.
If he doesn't come home I'll be mental.
He thinks it's a pain to fly home on the plane,
But he does, cause I'm not oriental.